Have you ever had one of those times when you were asked to do something for someone, and it ended up being something that you needed, perhaps more than those you were serving?
That's exactly what my Spain experience was like. The time in Spain was incredible, but not without challenges prior to getting there, and feeling extremely exhausted the first day I arrived. Due to unsuspected circumstances prior to leaving I arrived two days after Dennis, just hours before my first speaking slot.
I was asked to speak on a woman's self-worth, and so in my first session, I chose to talk about the lies women believe, plus the foothold that the enemy gains when we live with unforgiveness in our hearts.
I can not tell you the amount of oppression I felt going into this time and prior to my Sunday morning session. The unforeseen circumstances prior to leaving and flying out with only two hours of sleep closed in on me. Constant mind-battles with doubts and accusations tormented me. I shared Saturday evening in spite of extreme tiredness and blurred thinking on the anatomy of a stronghold based on lies, perhaps a bit abstract for translation, but trusted the Spirit's ability to articulate despite the language barrier.
Sunday morning came with the kind of a sinus headache that produces nausea. I almost bowed out of the morning session, willing to hand the opportunity over to Dennis, but I resolved to push through and I began to feel the headache lift. God filled me with peace, and I shared with confidence. God moved in that time in a way that I couldn't have ever imagined! I closed out that session with a "love letter" from God chocked full of His truths from scripture. Before I finished the letter, eventually every woman's face was wet with tears, including mine and the translator's. The Holy Spirit's presence was undeniable! God's Word was so powerful.
Later that morning during worship the ladies made their way to the front of the auditorium to dance to the worship music. Of course, they took me by the hand and I joined them in dance. What a joyful atmosphere in praise to the God of truth!
I needed to be reminded of the truths as much as the others. How easy we forget! I remember reading in C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity that “people need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” Perhaps this is why I'm so passionate about this topic of lies vs. truth. I need to be reminded as much as anybody else.
I've been living with an "angst," for lack of a better word. I think with all of life's transitions, the enemy knows when we are most vulnerable, and pounces on us with his lies and labels and doubts and questions. If we aren't on guard we take those negative voices in, letting them play out in our attitude and behavior patterns. The very thing I had prepared to share with the ladies in Spain.
On the flight home a few days later, I created my own sanctuary right there in my window seat. I sat and wrote in my journal, listing the lies I have been believing, taking time to confess, renounce, and declare them no longer active in my life.
I then wrote truths to counteract the lies, and walked off the plane that day with a new freedom in my heart. A freedom that welcomes the peace and joy and contentment that I can only find in the truth of Jesus.
Spain was meant for me, too.
